First Major Decision!

A sense of excitement rushes over me. I haven’t felt this way in a long time. I stare at my phone shaking my head in disbelief this kind of stuff never happens. A former employer called offering a weekend and evening scheduling position from home! The hours fit perfectly into my schedule. Involuntary, a smile creeps across my face. Maybe, yes, maybe this is possible. Next, I need to get approval for a second job from our Executive director. At the end of tomorrows shift, I’ll present it to him. Closing my eyes I whisper a small prayer, “Oh please God”.


Shuffling back and forth I waited for the answer. After Jim went over the particulars He gave the go ahead saying he wouldn’t stand in the way of me making a living. So on my days off, I trained. In training, I learn that this scheduling position could turn into a full-time position with the potential of earning $120 more a week than my primary job pays. Hope fills my soul. For the first time in years I begin to believe possibility lives!


Two months later I was called into the office to be made aware that my schedule will be changing. I stood there staring, tears brimmed my eyes. “So I have to leave my scheduling job?” I muttered as my stomach sank into a gigantic knot. I was thinking “are you kidding me, please God tell me he is kidding?” Jim wasn’t kidding. Filled with anger and anxiety, I left the office realizing I was on the verge of making my first big decision. Was I going to keep my primary job, virtually blocking me from moving out of D’s house or was I going to quit my first job, keeping the second and having to search for another full-time job? Driving home the sound of my heartbeat filled the car. Up till now these types of decisions were always made by D.


After 3 days of making calls, the only positions available pay $3 less an hour than I presently make. Sitting on my bed knees pulled up to my chin. “Why is this so hard? Does everything in life have to be hard; can’t one thing come easy?” stopping the mounting pity party I return to reality; time to choose! I begin to review the papers that scattered across the bedspread-a list of pros and cons.



  1. There is no higher position I can achieved in my present employment.
  2. The pay isn’t high enough to move out I require a second job.
  3. The new schedule will not allow a second job.
  4. Keeping the scheduling position means a drop in wages.
  5. By keeping the scheduling position I will have to immediately find a new full time job.



Ugh, I hate this!


Okay, call Barbara! When I have a problem and need an honest, straight-forward answer I call my sister. If I’m being reckless, Barbara will be the one who will tell me. I need logical and solid counsel; she’s the one who will give me a loving prayerful answer.


Holding my breath I handed Jim my two-week notice. After giving him the chance to read it, I explained my belief that it would ruin my reputation if I were to quit a job just after being trained. I pointed out that the other company had invested a good measure of money to train me. I thanked him for the opportunity to work for his company. Then I walked out-Scared. Am I doing the right thing? I don’t know. How is this going to work out? Oh it’ll work out, but how remains to be seen.


Side note: on my last day they announced they were closing the doors.




Thanks to pexels for the free images.